{"id":380,"date":"2020-06-22T03:53:35","date_gmt":"2020-06-22T03:53:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/?p=380"},"modified":"2024-07-18T03:21:39","modified_gmt":"2024-07-18T03:21:39","slug":"crystal-ball","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/2020\/06\/22\/crystal-ball\/","title":{"rendered":"Crystal Ball"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">In a candlelit room, peering into a crystal ball, a fortune teller delivered devastating news to a woman who had come seeking answers about her alcoholic husband.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;There&#8217;s no easy way to tell you this, so I&#8217;ll just be blunt,&#8221; said the fortune teller. &#8220;Prepare yourself to be a widow. Within a year your husband will die a sudden, unfortunate death.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"225\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/serenity4me.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/crystalball.jpg?resize=225%2C225&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-382\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/serenity4me.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/crystalball.jpg?w=225&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/serenity4me.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/crystalball.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller&#8217;s face, then at the crystal ball, then at the flickering candle, and finally down at her own hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind from racing. She simply had to know. She looked up at the fortune teller&#8217;s eyes, steadied her voice, and asked, &#8220;Will I be acquitted?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-right wp-block-paragraph\"> Joke stolen from the July 2020 <em>Grapevine<\/em> <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a candlelit room, peering into a crystal ball, a fortune teller delivered devastating news to a woman who had come seeking answers about her alcoholic husband. &#8220;There&#8217;s no easy way to tell you this, so I&#8217;ll just be blunt,&#8221; said the fortune teller. &#8220;Prepare yourself to be a widow. Within a year your husband [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":383,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-380","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny","entry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/serenity4me.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/magic-crystal-ball-clipart-e1722561626394.png?fit=261%2C200&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=380"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":385,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/380\/revisions\/385"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/383"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=380"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=380"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/serenity4me.net\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=380"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}